Could
people be as toxic to you as chemicals and poisons?!?!
Yes they can! If you
have been around me long enough you have probably heard about what I like to
call "Energy Suckers." I like to call these people the ones that suck
your positive energy right out of you, consciously or unconsciously hoping to
fill their own voids. After reading a GREAT article by Travis Bradberry called 12 Ways Successful People Handle ToxicPeople, I wanted to share my take on this subject.
Bradberry
states: “Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical
Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to
stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get
when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive
stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or
just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state
that should be avoided at all costs.”
I have
been in the midst of launching my 10-Day Easy Detox For Busy People Online Program.
Of course this program focuses alot on food, BUT I also speak about people and
thoughts in this program. Studies are showing more and more how influential the
people you hang out with will dictate the choices you make in your life. Dr.
Mark Hyman even states that people are 2x more likely to lose weight if they
do it together. So, are you ready to make healthy choices over un-healthy?
I like to call healthy choices those choices aligned with your values.
Below
are Five Steps to Handle Those Energy
Suckers in your life:
Step #1
Define
Your Values
Setting
Values sets your foundation. I like to create 2-3 Values with all my clients.
These are things that keep your soul thriving. What gets you up in the morning?
What keeps that “spark” alive? What brings a smile to your face like no other?
When are you the happiest? Values are aligned with how you want to feel. My Top
3 are: Fun, Freedom, Peace
Get it
Done: What are your top 2-3 values? I recommend looking up the meaning of the
word in the dictionary to make sure you know exactly what it means, as well as,
how it feels in your body.
Step #2
Set
Boundaries
This is
my equation I use with clients for Setting Boundaries:
1.
Define what behavior of another is triggering you.
2.
Define why this behavior is causing you harm/discomfort/stress
3.
Define the consequence that will happen if the other engages in this behavior
anymore.
Get it
Done: Who in your life needs a good ole’ boundary? How or where can you set it
up? You do not need to speak to the other to create a boundary, but sometimes
it is necessary to set up a successful one.
Step #3
Focus on
what you Want
We have
such a habit of getting stuck in what we don’t want, that we create blinders to
any solution. Using what is going wrong as feedback can help you discover a new
path to what you do want.
Get it
Done: Who do you think is pretty cool that you never seem to talk to, or have
fun with? Maybe ask them to go out this week? They could be the hidden signs
towards what you want in life.
Step #4
Have
More Supportive People than toxic ones
Who are
those people that you know holds sacred space for you? Or those people that build
you up? Those are people that you can use as preventative care from Toxic People.
The more you are with people that build you up, the less the people that break
you down will affect you.
Get it
Done: Create your list of supporters in your life. When things get stressful
make sure you talk to one of them. I like to be in contact, somehow with a
supporter every day, even if it’s a little text or watching something from them
on the internet. Your supporters don’t need to be people you know personally.
If someone inspires you they are supporting you. I also love just going to yoga class to fill me back up.
Step#5
Saying
No.
As MarieForleo says, "Get On The No Train." If someone asks, or is doing something that
is not aligned with your values, then it is your right to say No.
Get it
Done: Speak your Values to Yourself EVERYDAY, so when you are approached by
someone, you are grounded in your authenticity. You also have the option to say “Thank you for the
offer. I need 24 hours to think about, and will get back to.”
Which
Step are you going to get started with THIS WEEK? Please share in a comment, or
head over to my Facebook Page and share you A’ha from this post. Let’s keep
going empowering everyone to finally step into whom they really are, so they
can feel more authentic and happy in their lives.
